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Sunday, December 21, 2008

So true...

Your result for The What Middle Earth race do you belong to Test...


You scored 0% Size & Strength, 59% Morality, 76% Aggression, and 82% Intelligence.

You're an Elf! You scored low in size, high in morality, high in aggression and high in intelligence to get here. The first and favorite race created by the Valar, the Elves have been in Middle Earth for many ages, and are currently the only race allowed to join their creators in Valinor. Blessed with eternal life, enhanced senses, great beauty, wisdom and skill, the race of Elves still has several black marks on it. (Kinslaying, anyone?) But hey, no one is perfect, right? Of course not, but the Elves are damn close to it.

FYI, your polar opposite is the Troll.

Take The What Middle Earth race do you belong to Test
at HelloQuizzy

Saturday, December 13, 2008


I just woke up. From a dream. I dreamed I was at our lake house in Nancy. But I was running. Running through the snow carrying my newborn child. Why was I running? Because I was being chased by my apparently lesbian girlfriend who looked like Lindsay Lohan with a bad bleach job who was trying to beat the crap out of me. I find a house. With a light on. So I run inside and two old people say I can hide in their kitchen. But my girlfriend finds me. So I knock her out with a stick and keep running. I find a hospital. With an ER. They let me hide in one of their exam rooms. Eventually, they tell me I have to leave, because they need the room for a real patient. My girlfriend is in the waiting room. Thank goodness, because her medical card means that my ER co-pay is only 60 cents. Which I right in my checkbook. When I finally get back to the cabin, I am met by twenty or so people. Who are pissed. Because apparently, I was supposed to have been hosting a weekend at the lake for mentally disabled teenagers and I forgot to buy the food....



Why do we dream? What does it mean? Why is one person's dream a prophecy and another person's dream a pscyhotic episode?

I have never been a good sleeper. I sleep walk. I talk. I wake up screaming. It's like my day just continues right on into the night. I've been to a sleep clinic. I have tried sleeping pills.

I don't know.

I'm just a freak a guess.

Time for a marathon conclusion to my "Hate Your Job" series, which I would like to reiterate is just for THOSE DAYS when you hate your job. I don't hate my job. I only hate it somedays:

6. Put on your shield and armor when you enter your workplace. Everyone should learn how to create a psychic shield. Imagine that you are surrounded by an outer shell that is made of a solid material -- so strong that nothing can get through to hurt you. Some people prefer to imagine a protective golden light, but I think the solid shield is stronger. Take two or three minutes to put on your shield, every day, before you enter the workplace.

While this is almost as new agey as visualizing your obstacle, I do like this. Sometimes, I just close my eyes and visualize the office melting away. I visualize my children and my grand children and retirement and a time when I won't even talk to any of these people again. This day, this bad day, is just a blip on the timeline of my life and it too shall pass.

It works, trust me!

7. Give yourself a gift every day -- a splurge of time or sensual taste buds. Read a book, talk to a friend, eat your favorite food. Don't deaden your senses with alcohol (although if you're a wine connoisseur, your special wine can be a gift) or spend big bucks at the mall. Think simple.

I agree. I should do this more often. Unfortunately, my little gifts to myself are not very healthy. Just a cigarette. Just one cigarette. Puff puff. Just a beer. One beer. Glug glug. Just a french fry. One french fry. A medium fry and baconator later....

I need healthier gifts.

8. Find at least one thing in your life to appreciate: the softness of your cat's fur, the winter sky, the spontaneous hug from a friend. Appreciate as much as possible about your job: the money, the view from the window, the new computer, friendly conversations with the guy down the hall. Savor the experience. Appreciation is the engine that attracts good things into your life.

As far as my job goes, I appreciate the leeway I have to control my own destiny. For example, I just had to do 11 postcard layouts for ALL of our direct mailings for 2009. Every single draft I sent my boss was met by a one or two word response: "ok." "like it". "great". "Last one?"

Not one word of criticism. Which at first annoyed me, because I was sending him drafts to get his input. But then I realized, he just trusts me. He just trusts me to do a good job at it.


At home, my favorite thing, is snuggling in bed with my hubby and looking out my big picture window. Because what is staring back at me around 10 or 11 when I go to sleep?

The moon.

It's like God knew I would live in that house and sleep in that room and lay on that side of the bed, so when he created the moon he stuck it just so, so I could stare at it and remember how small I am in the universe, as I fall asleep.

But then I have to dream about Lindsay Lohan chasing me through the woods.

I don't know.

9. Tune in to your intuition before deciding what to do next. Meditate and listen to the world around you. The saying "frying pan into the fire" is real. If your goals and desires do not come from a secure place within yourself, you will find yourself paying undue attention to wet blankets ("If you quit you'll never get another job") and false friends ("Just quit! Move to Tahiti! You won't starve!"). Sometimes the same "advisor" proposes both ideas in the same week. A good coach or counselor will give you confidence in your own intuition, not impose their views of what you should do now.

My intuition tells me that my only critic at work is myself. I always think they are going to fire me. But then I am met with nothing but praise and enthusiasm for what I am doing and what I am bringing to the company. So really, the only person who thinks I should be fired, is myself.

10. Write this down somewhere: After you've left -- and you will -- all that time will seem to have gone in the blink of an eye. You will have trouble remembering what bothered you so much. The rest of your life will still be ahead of you.

Ta da! Forever mortalized in my little blog.

Hope these things were helpful to some of you. Life is short. Life is long. It just depends on how miserable or how happy you are at any given moment. Don't stay in a job that you hate. But don't quit a job before you have another one. Don't let a couple of tools ruin your daily work experience. Don't let yourself ruin it either.

Good luck to those of you who are looking for a new job!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Okay, after this I really have to get back to work!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

And for those of you who like something with more of a twang...

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The Most Hilarious Time of the Year

Send your own ElfYourself eCards