UPDATE: Hell yeah! We did it! $1,000 in under 3 days! You guys are amazing. Anything from this point out is just icing on the snarky cake. The campaign will remain open for donations until Friday July 6th at midnight. I will post the receipts from the donations to Electronic Frontier Foundation and Americans for the Arts as soon as the funds are transferred from IndieGoGo! SQUEEEEEEE! :D
|Image by EmmaDiscovery|
...so that he may ensure that they receive the money.
He is truly a leader among asshats.
Not only is our God-given right to donate our money out of spite in order to prove an undebatable point under attack, but there are many unnamed individuals under the threat of Carreon's barrage of butthurt. Those who would help us cope with the sobering fact that we must, indeed, share oxygen with a man as loathsome as Charles Carreon, through the use of parody and satire, are being Doe Hunted by Charles and his wife Tara, as we speak.
As you may or may not be aware, I myself came under the attack of the Carreons. Tara not only posted my picture and referred to me as a "lying little bitch," but attempted to hush me with the threat of becoming a named defendant in the suit. She even insinuated I may not even be a "girl".
That really hurt my vagina's feelings.
And my vagina is not quick to forgive.
It's hard to believe that a just and loving God would allow such egregious behavior to continue, or allow a money changer like Carreon to linger in the temple of all that is hilarious and good in this world.
Perhaps there is no God.
Or perhaps we just need to turn to other great teachers of spiritual enlightenment for answers.
Carreon himself writes, in his description of the tenth principle of his completely manufactured religion that he sees no reason to follow himself:
"The avenue of fulfillment goes in the other direction — outward, along the vector of expanding benefit. A creative person is like a tree, that grows larger and larger, sheltering ever more creatures in its branches, casting shade and preserving water in the earth, purifying the air, and dropping fruit that is eaten by creatures that transport the seeds far and wide, growing more trees in other places.
We may wonder what such generosity will bring us in return, on a personal level. No one can answer that with predictive precision, but when good deeds are done, someone benefits, and when bad deeds are done, someone suffers. Nor can we predict who that someone will be."
However rarely, when you are right, you are right, Charles Carreon.
The Internet, in all its infinite wisdom and disorder, has delivered unto us a glorious tree of creativity who is sheltering us from your malice and legal weaponry through humor and grace.
Matthew Inman is that tree.
I am but the seed that has been crapped out by the creature eating his delicious fruit.
Charles Carreon's bad deeds have caused many to suffer the last couple of weeks, but there is still hope that good deeds will prevail, so that more will benefit than have suffered under the pathetic tantrum he is currently throwing.
Matthew Inman wrote:
"Previously I stated that because the amount raised was so much larger than expected I was going to divide the money into four charities instead of two, but unfortunately Carreon's lawsuit claims that I'm holding an "illicit fundraiser" and not donating money where I said I would. To avoid further litigation with him, I decided to split the money between the original two charities. If Carreon wanted a minor victory, he got one here."
That simply won't do.
I have started my own fundraiser called "LLB's Delicious Oatmeal That Might Have Been".
Its goal is simple: to raise money for two additional charities who might have received funds if Charles Carreon were not so utterly selfish. I do not know Matthew Inman, nor am I presumptuous enough to think he would respond to an e-mail I might send, out of, I'm sure, the thousands of other e-mails of support he is getting. So I have chosen two charities, I believe will help prevent this travesty of the legal system from happening again.
The first is Americans for the Arts. Hopefully, by increasing the number of arts programs available to kids, the world can look forward to more Matthew Inmans, who use humor and creativity to fight battles, in lieu of litigiousness and bullying.
The second, is the Electronic Frontier Foundation. I think it goes without saying the importance of the work this group is doing, to preserve the first amendment rights of bloggers, satirists, and web users everywhere.
The goal is much more modest than Mr. Inman's: $1000. If every person who donated to Matt's cause donated just $1, we would have more than 14 times that amount.
Even if my little fundraiser doesn't come near its goal, its mere existence is a victory in the face of someone who is self righteous enough to believe it is his job to police the intentions of our charitable giving.
So, who is with me?