This is the part where most people who help raise money for charity get to talk about the AWESOME charities that will get the money that so many AWESOME people donated (and maybe share some of their reasons for donating).
Alas, this was no ordinary charitable fundraiser. Unlike most fundraisers, this fundraiser has a villain. And this villain's mere existence and thinly veiled threats have forced me to begin this blog with something far less moving, and, frankly, downright sinister.
I must begin this blog with math.
Now if you were to go to a charity bake sale, you might assume (or not) that some of the money you are paying for Miss Edna's scrumptious Macadamia Nut Snickermunchies would not go to Our Lady of Faith's Orphans With Acne Benefit Fund, but rather to pay for the table and chair rentals, the tent, the porta john for that lactose intolerant alter boy's ill advised consumption of Sister Gertrude's tres leches cake, and other various and sundry overhead expenses. You would assume this, because, presumably, you are not a moron.
Charles Carreon still thinks you are a moron.
So for Charles Carreon's sake, who I'm sure will take credit for the money raised (even though half of it went to the organization that squished him like a sickly water bug), let's breakdown exactly where every last red cent went.
Firstly, the money you raise on IndieGoGo comes from two separate sources: credit cards/bank transfers or PayPal.
Delicious Oatmeal raised $1280 in CC payments. The 9% IndieGoGo fee was $115.20, credit card processing was $38.40, then (because we raised more than the $1000 goal) we got a 5% rebate of $64.
So, we netted $1190.40 from CC/Bank donations.
Gross PayPal donations were $1220. IndieGoGo 9% was $109.80, PayPal processing was $36.60, and the 5% IndieGoGo rebate was $61.00.
We netted $1134.60 from PayPal donations.
Add those amounts together and $2325 of the $2500 made it to the charities. $1162.50 each. Although, for the purposes of being obnoxiously thorough, Americans for the Arts got an additional $.50, because they only accept whole dollar amounts. I'm sure Charles will nail me on that one.
(Aside: Every time more than 3 numbers are involved in an equation, an English major hurls themselves off a bridge. I narrowly escaped this time.)
How would you like it if every time you donated money, you had to have all of that spelled out for you in order to donate? Obviously, that information should be made easily accessible by any donor, which it is on every page of IndieGoGo. But what if you had to have it shoved down your gullet before every donation?
This is what Charles Carreon claims he wants.
Worse, Charles Carreon wants you to only be allowed to donate if you are doing it for the right reasons. In his view, the right reasons cannot include bitchiness, vindictiveness, pettiness, humor, mockery, satire, publicity, or anything that doesn't make him feel warm and fuzzy inside (<---Read his real reason for suing).
Well, Mr. Carreon, the Internet has spoken. And it is a resounding "fuck off."
Some comments from Delicious Oatmeal:
It is none of your business why anyone donates to any charity. It is also not your job to "help" us assess the legitimacy of charities. We are capable of doing that, without your help. I'm also waiting with bated breath for your donation of the additional $175 you find so egregious to pay for credit card processing and the use of IndieGoGo's web platform. You may send it PayPal to design at annbransom.com. Just make sure to add a little extra for good measure, because like IndieGoGo AND you AND everyone else, PayPal doesn't work for free.
But here is something you can have for free.
Some excellent advice.
If you want people to believe you don't care what they think about you, then don't post their "hate" mail in your own museum of narcissism. If you believe in the First Amendment, don't threaten to sue satirists and then act surprised when they don't sit by and eat crow. If you don't want people to think you are a poisonous douche shrub, then don't liken people criticizing you to the horror of rape. Most importantly, if you don't like people shining a light on your bad behavior, then STOP BEHAVING BADLY.
We are waiting, Sir.
Tara is still jawing on Nader Library. Oatmeal is still writing hilarious comics. Charles Carreon still thinks he's a real attorney. People continue to fight against him, even when the Internet has moved on to the next sparkly object that's caught her fickle eye. But at least in this battle against censorship, four charities got to benefit. Matthew Inman raised nearly a quarter of a million dollars for the National Wildlife Federation and the American Cancer Society. We mighty Oatmeal fans raised $2500 for the Electronic Frontier Foundation and Americans for the Arts.
Thank you so much to everyone who donated. Please remember to keep the spirit of charity and the war on censorship going.
Even when it's not hilarious.
|Holding the receipts for EFF and AFTA Donations. Smiling the smile of the just. Hi, Tara!! :)|